Flamenco and Perfume? Yes, please.

(Otherwise known as The "Meaning To" Beginning, With Gipsy Kings and The Arabian Dance)

For several years, I have had an idea of diving into music. I know what I tend to gravitate to, but I have been on a journey of asking myself, "Is this who I am, and how do I know that," in many areas of my life. Music somehow remained static. I liked what I liked, and didn't stray much from that. But, as I continued to question myself regarding what I was "sure" I liked and wanted to add to my life, music began to take on a focus.

Music, like perfume, is often considered a personal taste. Also, like perfume, there will be those who think your personal taste is terrible (and should not be aired to the public, lest ye offend). With both, some will be interested in more than what is traditionally offered. Like perfume, there are music brands and types sold for mass consumption. Then, there are the steadily growing niche perfumers and bands that have developed loyal followings because they offer something else/more, something that isn't being acknowledged by the mass consumption gods.

Music, like perfume, even though developed by others, is considered an intimate form of self expression.

I have taken several years to explore perfume (although I admit that even there, I have tended to find one thing, obsess over it for a little while, then stall out before moving on). In doing so, I have discovered more of myself--things I thought I didn't like but ended up loving, new words to describe my tastes and interests, ways I tend to self-care (and ways I can improve), the way I approach something I'm not sure about (and how I can work on expanding my experiences).

I have often not understood not wanting to learn, whether it's more about self, about others, about the world we live in. I see people going about their day-to-day, sometimes candidly expressing that they don't want to explore anything else. They want the routine, the predictable. While, I do understand how comforting sameness can be, I also crave discovery and truths that may lurk beyond what we think we know and experience. I've been told by several people (in varying tones and degrees, and sometimes meant as an insult, sometimes as a compliment) that "You are a very different type of person, Maya. Not everyone is as __________ (bold/willing to explore/critical of self/whatever the thing is at the time) as you are."

When I've heard that, I have allowed it to set me back. Should I be as curious about the world, about people, about what makes us all tick? Why is this insatiable desire to know inside of me?

One thing I seem to have to keep learning is that whether I am the same as everyone else or different, it's not going to change who likes me, loves me, hates me and even more importantly whether I like or hate myself. So why not test a horizon or two?

Which brings me back to exploration. I have, through the past two years (and especially so last year), been adding to my "Someday I want to explore that" list in music. I've asked people what they listen to, and have added those artists and songs.

While I've been doing this, I have also been adding to my perfume lists as well as looking at the boxes of perfumes I have set aside to fully test, explore, make decisions about.

For over a year, I've been meaning to get to both the music and the perfume with the idea of combining them. Test a perfume. Test a new artist. I have held back because sometimes I scare myself by how much I want to do something (and I also realize the big risk of exploring an artist, not liking them, and having someone tell me how stupid they think I am).

But the idea has persisted. Persists. Probably will continue to do so.

So, today, I basically closed my eyes, spun the list on Spotify, and picked a group at random that I added I don't even know how long ago, and pressed play. I also closed my eyes, reached into my box of perfume and grabbed.

I didn't realize that just doing those things would make my hands sweat a little bit.

I probably won't give as in depth a review on the music that I pick as I do this (although who knows how it will evolve), but I do look forward to seeing what I connect with and what I decide to add permanently.

On to the reviews!

Gipsy Kings

The group Spotify landed on today was the Gipsy Kings. Per Wikipedia, "The Gipsy Kings are a group of flamenco, salsa and pop musicians from Arles and Montpellier in the south of France, who perform in Andalusian Spanish." Their website was fun to wander through and read. They hail from an area very close to where most of the well known perfumes in the world have been developed and come from (as we know them today). Both this music and perfume have history behind them--weighty, bold, and beautiful.

I also have liked flamenco music through the years, but have never really taken the time to focus on it. The Gipsy Kings grabbed me immediately, and I found myself adding more of their songs to one of my permanent lists. I find it almost impossible to be cranky while listening to flamenco music, and the Gipsy Kings kept making me happy from track to track.

However, reading their story also reminded me of a different history when it comes to gypsy culture, and how gypsies have been treated through the years. I found myself wondering what joy, what cultural impact, what influence would have been lost if the people who had wanted to rid the earth of gypsies and their culture had succeeded.

Today, I am grateful for a chance to listen to masterful guitar work and powerful vocals. I will be keeping this group's music around and look forward to more days spent with the Gipsy Kings.

Today's perfume grab was The Arabian Dance, and I admit to chuckling over how life can sometimes pair things. I'm listening to music that makes me want to dance, and it is paired with a perfume with dance in its name. I probably would have had to hunt for hours to find that pairing, and yet closing my eyes and picking made it happen. It tickles me.

Today, for the fun of it, I'm going to go through the review first before I find the scent description and notes from the perfumers website.

The Arabian Dance

In the bottle, I get a bunch of things that smoosh up together. I start to pick them out and at first get the sense of a dark and woody chocolate or coffee. It's dark and just shy of bitter. But, immediately dancing around that and lifting the whole is a sweet fruity note that feels like it's tangling with raw silk. It's compelling in the play of light and dark.

On my skin, my left arm immediately gets a beautifully spiced note (like an amazing spice cake, loaded with cinnamon, nutmeg, and clove), threaded with a touch of coffee. I also get the sense of sugar. On my right arm, I get more of the sweet fruit that turns very perfumey. The raw silk edge lifts, then drops down to become part of the perfume base.

As it dries, the spice on my left arm is beautiful. The coffee note drops into a deeper and softer chocolate vibe without smelling like chocolate, and continues to play along a line that dashes between light and dark, without ever becoming heavy. It is (on my left arm) completely what I would like my cozy days to smell like in wintertime: charming, uplifting, slightly spiced, warm. On my right arm, that coffee note begins to rise a bit and brings up the raw silk aspect. It also comes across as very perfumed with a sweet edge. It also has a note in it that reminds me a little bit of Phyllotaxis also from Possets, which had a black musk and coffee note blended with chai and lavender notes. My right arm has a slightly plastic edge among the notes, but it is not dominant and only noticeable when I put my nose on my skin and sniff. I suspect there is clove in this one, as clove can sometimes go to a weird plastic on my skin (but only up close, not in the throw). The waft around me is glorious: warm spices, a distinct snugglycuddleness, and yet lifting into a really beautiful perfume with soft and sweet edges, without being too sugary sweet.

Fully dry, the perfume softens a lot, but stays warm and cozy spices, a faint hint of coffee base, and keeps that lovely perfume edge with a soft sweetness. This is perfect for me right now in our winter months. (I suspect it would be too much in our heat and humidity.) I will be putting this in my autumn-spring rotation pile.
The Arabian Dance is a permanent at Possets, so if you think you may like to try it, it would be available as a sample. The notes for it are: Clove, coffee, a drop of mild oude, and very light smoke. Very spice sensuous and lovely like a sunny afternoon in a coffee shop in Dubai in January. A glorious simple pleasure. 

The mention of smoke surprised me a little, but I suspect that is the raw silk edge I was getting. Overall, I'm a bit pleased that I picked out the clove (or spices) and coffee. For people who may be afraid of smoke fragrances, this seems like it would be a good one to try. I have other perfumes that literally have a smoke-from-a-bonfire smell. This is a much lighter, more "clean" smoke, and soft. It is a beautiful perfume and deserves to be out more. I'm thrilled to have rediscovered it.

Both the music and the perfume are perfect for today, and both are keepers (although I know some will not be). I look forward to seeing what else is out there just waiting for me to discover them.

Depression and Perfume

If anyone has been paying attention, I haven't been here. I haven't been here for a while. In fact, I was here, and then I wasn't.

I've talked a little (elsewhere) about depression. I'm in several groups for writers. Some of us have joked about depression being a necessity for writers, but even with knowing that we feel (enabling us to bring pages to life for others) it doesn't make going through the dark hours any easier.

Depression is a tricky thing. Sometimes we're clawing to the top (and almost out), then we fall right back down into a suffocating hole. Some days we know are going to be coping days so we grit our teeth and hang on. And then there are the days when, if we are honest with ourselves, the empty gray of depression has us very very lost, but we can sometimes fool ourselves into thinking we are coping.

Last year (and for part of the year before that), I was very lost. I had some reasons. Four of my sweetiepie birds died (it still shakes me to think about). I had some big health scares. People I love dealt with big things. People died. I was struggling in many ways. It felt like every month brought one more thing to deal with, and even knowing that we all deal with those one more things I still felt very alone. Correct that: I felt very lonely. (I don't mind being alone, but feeling lonely is miserable.)

Before I fell into the world of perfume oils and niche (indie) perfumes, I had things that could keep me going, but I could drop interests when I felt like it. The few times I struggled with debilitating depression, I had stuff that I knew I could set aside, walk away from, lose. It scared me that I was okay with that. But after I discovered this small fun little world of fragrance, I had this thing that despite myself would keep me coming into the present. My very worst days worried me the most, not because I was thinking of ways I could hurt myself, but because those were the days I wouldn't wear any perfume at all. I had several of those days in a row, and that's when I said, "Whoa, you need to do something. Danger."

To many people, that may seem frivolous and silly, but perfume was my life line to some degree of normal. Deliberately turning away from perfume was a blinking red beacon that I was in trouble.

And so I made myself, in the deepest darkest of gray, put perfume on. Every day. Even when I wanted nothing more than to fade into the ground, to not move, to crawl under the covers and never wake up. I would go to my perfume chest and make myself pick out something.

Then, one day, I crawled into bed and decided to stay there. No perfume. No shower to feel clean. No brushing of teeth as a reminder that I am alive. Just covers and darkness. And tears. As I lay there staring at the ceiling with tears slowly slipping into my hair, I snuffled. There in the gray, I smelled the mix of the small box of perfumes I had stashed by my bed. Mindlessly, not being aware that I was doing so, I began to pick out the notes. Peony, yes, I think that's peony. Lavender. Rose. Is that maybe a touch of tuberose? Lemon? No. Grapefruit. Why am I smelling this right now? I don't normally smell this when I go to bed. I looked over. The box was the same (undisturbed). Nothing had changed that I could see, but somehow they had reached out to me. I crawled out of bed. Showered. Put on perfume again.

I can't list off all of the names of what I wore. I can't even tell you everything in that small box. By Kilian. Carnal Flower. Testers from people all over the place. Guerlain. Old classics. Several Betrand Duchaufor creations. Possets. Sample packs from Lucky Scent (if you do not know Lucky Scent, you want to). More packs from The Perfumed Court, The Posh Peasant. My empty sample of Lea by Calypso St. Barth (I really do need to just buy a bottle of that some day). My travel case of samples a friend gave me with mimosa and sparkling flowery perfumes. L'Artisan and Parfumerie Generale.

Every time I wore perfume, I didn't feel as isolated or lonely. I slowly have been making my way back here. We're about to move and life is going to be hectic again, so my posts may be sporadic, but even if I never write another post I wanted to say this: Sometimes the smallest things can save us. If perfume brings you joy, embrace that. You may never know when it reaches out to you and becomes your lifeline.

Since the last time I wrote here I have sampled, tested, hoarded, wrinkled my nose at, and sniffed multiple lovelies (and not so lovelies). My hope is that when we get settled in our new location that I will be able to bring them out and share them with the world.

Until then, even while packing and moving, I'll be wearing perfume. I hope you'll join me.

Solstice Scents: Gardenia

One of the reasons I love perfume oils is how informative the creators often are. I usually learn something fun or fascinating. Beyond that, I often feel involved in the process—whether it's because we (the buyers) are asked about our opinions, or we are included in a discussion about what the perfumer is coming up with next, or the perfumer does something interesting or unique and then shares that with us.

One reason I love Solstice Scents is because the perfumer talks about her process—her attention to detail, her search for the best ingredients, her devotion to quality. For spring, she released a very limited scent called Gardenia (suspended in alcohol, not oil). It is limited because she utilizes a time-consuming (and ancient) art of perfumery called enfleurage. Enfleurage (in short) takes thousands of flowers and infuses them down to a very precious bit of flower oil (instead of looking for other fragrances to mimic a certain flower or scent). The flowers Solstice Scents uses are her own (and pesticide free). As soon as I saw her talking about the limited batch she was doing for this year, I knew I would have to buy one of those very precious samples (it is much too costly to sell as a bottle). I love when people devote time and attention to a craft that is (largely) forgotten or out of use. It appeals to me on an aesthetic and cerebral level.

When I got my package, I sniffed the sample and felt like I should lock it away forever. But, part of the joy of perfume is that it is meant to be used, so today I'm taking out my sample and dabbing some on. (I may lock the rest away, just because I want to hoard this!)

Solstice Scents' description: “Solstice Scents is proud to offer gardenia essence from our homegrown pesticide-free gardenia flowers.  Only a limited quantity of .25 ml premium perfume samples will be available... Three different gardenia varieties (Gardenia jasminoides, Gardenia brighamii and Gardenia radicans) were used to create this 100% natural essence. Utilizing the principles of the centuries-old practice of enfleurage, we developed a unique technique to capture the fragrance of creamy white gardenia flowers in full bloom.” If you want to read more about their enfleurage process, here is the link: Gardenia--Enfleurage

Now to the review!

In the sample vial: pure gardenia (mostly flower, but some green and stem included).

On my skin: I immediately get GARDENIA. Milky, soft, and almost animalic. I also get a hint of something that comes across as cinnamon powder, but isn't. It's more like the pungency of cinnamon, but in flower form. At this point, my eyes are almost rolling back in my head because this is so very amazing. It's like gathering a bouquet of gardenias, slightly crushing the petals to release the essence, then putting that bouquet under my nose.

As it dries: I get a little more sap, a little bit of green, but the creamy pure gardenia note still dominates. This is probably the purest gardenia fragrance I will ever find, and although it breaks my heart that I won't be able to buy a bottle, I'm so thrilled that I was able to get a sample of this. It's beautiful (and worth the high price of a sample).

Dry down: this holds as pure and delicate gardenia. The pungency has dropped down, and what's left is smooth, smooth, smooth. It's like I rubbed a million flower petals on my skin, which is pretty much what I did—without having to do all of the work. This is one of those once-in-a-lifetime type of fragrances. Something to cherish and love and be sad when it's gone, but also be thankful that I had a chance to try it. It never gives me a headache (which most white flower fragrances can do). It simply remains soft and drifts delicately from my skin, reminding me how beautiful the world can be when we take the time to see it.

This is pure gardenia. Pure and soft, beautiful, and comforting. To me, this is the perfect gift to give an adored mother or friend, or something to be worn on a wedding day. It deserves to be cherished because it's beautiful, but it also deserves to be used because it's beautiful.

I'm so glad I have this sample. Now, if you'll please excuse me, I need to buy a few more samples to hoard.

Solstice Scents: Private Eye

Solstice Scents is a treasure that I discovered about a year-and-a-half ago. I started with their sample collection and, upon delivery, quickly realized this was a perfume oil company to be reckoned with. Most of the Solstice Scents perfumes are heavy on woods and spices. At first sniff, I wasn't sure about the depth of the notes (deep, very deep), but the more I sampled, the more I appreciated the craftsmanship of the perfumes. Solstice Scents has come out with "lighter" scents, but even the flowery "femme" perfumes have a beautiful depth and richness to them. I will review some of those in the future, but today I am reviewing a new release: Private Eye.

Private Eye is a premium perfume (per the website, premiums are "...exquisite or rare essential oils, absolutes, exotic authentic Indian attars and/or top shelf fragrance oils..."), which means the bottles are smaller and the prices a little more expensive, but the oils are worth it.

Now to the review!

Solstice Scents description: "A mix of vices: dark chocolate, black coffee and cigarettes wrapped in a worn leather bomber jacket and staked out in a tan '72 Buick Skylark on a humid night... Private Eye is a raw, gritty and unusual fragrance that radiates atmosphere and mystery. This inspired scent is spicy, earthy, sweet and slightly smoky with the faintest trace of leather. An all natural blend of resinous myrrh, rich cacao, effervescent pink pepper, black pepper, tobacco absolute, coffee essential oil, choya loban, guaiacwood, tonka bean, aged patchouli, rosewood, and the woody, candied clove-like scent of buddha wood essential oil..."

Notes: "Cocoa Absolute, Myrrh EO, Pink Pepper EO, Black Pepper EO, Tonka absolute, Buddha Wood, Tobacco absolute, Coffee EO, Guiacwood, Rosewood EO, etc."

One of her discontinued fragrances, Black Leather Red Lace, is one of my top (ever!) leather perfumes. Solstice Scents has a beautiful hand with leather, so this was a Must Try for me.

Since the perfumes have roller balls, I can't get much from what's in the bottle, but what I do get is a sweet deep dark wood, a little myrrh (or maybe the choya loban), a touch of pepper, a faint hint of dark chocolate, and a bit of aged patchouli (not head-shoppy).

On my skin: This opens as very peppery--both pink and black. The myrrh is rich and almost sticks to my tongue. Waaay down underneath, the cocoa absolute gives this a dark and lush base. I don't see many perfumes with Buddha wood so I had to look it up, and I can see this providing the almost mossy tone that I'm getting. (According to one website, Buddha wood is, "...woody, mossy, and mild with a subtle leathery-smoky note.") It's a dirty mossy note that feels like I just ripped it out of a dark forest.

As it dries: The pepper softens some, the tonka rises quite a bit (sweetening the scent), I get a faint chai spice vibe, the cocoa continues to hold steady at the base, and the rosewood becomes more dominant. The moss drops down some, but it also adds to the dark base.

As it dries further: The guiacwood begins to rise to the top, bringing out a faintly smoky essence. The tobacco absolute rides along with this, giving the perfume a dried herb and dark and tannic feel. Right now, this smells like it's been threaded with licorice and comes across as a little musty (like books left to rot in a dark room where the floor is rotting along with the books).

This one shifts on me a lot. The waft I'm getting is rich, deep, and masculine, but definitely wearable by a woman who isn't afraid of unusual fragrances.

My left arm seemed to hold on to the musty/mossy note the longest. My right arm focused on the chocolate and spice, and brought up something that almost smelled like dried orange peel--adding a sweetness and zest to the whole.

Final dry down: This is spicy and rich. Leather flirts along the bottom edge of the base, rounding it out and giving this a lovely depth that feels exotic and comforting at the same time. I'm not getting heavy leather--it's more like the memory of leather--nor am I getting much smoke, but I could see that note coming up a bit more once this settles from travel. The pepper seems to hold steady and adds to the wood essence. This has a slight sweetness to it that I think will develop more as this ages. On both wrists, I get what comes across as anise with all of the sweetness stripped out of it--dry, dry, and more dry. The patchouli comes out on the back end of the waft, almost as an afterthought.

When I close my eyes and huff my wrists, I get the feel of an old office: cracked leather chairs rotting away in the corners, dirt keeping the sunlight from filtering through the windows, longer shadows than perhaps should be there stretching into the room, wood floors covered with dust and ash from old cigars, the desk surprisingly waxed and polished to a high gleam, and the memory of men's spicy cologne drifting by. I also get the feel of an old barn falling down on some forgotten property somewhere, with a beautiful classic car dreaming in the dust motes of days when its leather was fresh and the body without rust.

In short, I think Solstice Scents found the soul of a noir detective novel and squeezed it until it bled into the bottle. This is a dark fragrance. Dark, edgy, masculine, and somehow alluring--as all good noir mysteries should be.

Possets: DNA

DNA is from the Sacred Geometry: Secret Knowledge 2013 spring release at Possets.

Possets' description: "Even the DNA strand follows the Sacred Geometric curve as it rotates around its 4 elements in endless combinations!

I wanted to make this an unabashed foody with lashings of: toffee, butterscotch, cream, butter, and a tidal wave of vanilla. if you like the foodies, this one is a rare beauty. I also wanted to play with a very very very small tot of coffee plopped in for a bit of depth to it all and that did make it ultra special. Wear it when you are in a hedonistic mood."

In the bottle: Mmmmm caramel, whiskey, toffee. Mouthwatering.

On my skin: Buttery creamy toffee, whiskey, butterscotch (in fact, my husband just walked by and said, "You smell like butterscotch!"), a touch of cream, and waaaay down at the bottom is something a bit darker and heavier that may be the coffee. (When I first tried this one--fresh out of the mailbox last week--I didn't get the coffee. I was surprised to see the coffee on the list today, but I remember that's one reason I grabbed this one. I'm always looking for a good coffee scent.)

As it dries: This is FOODIE. Unabashed, full on, hedonistic lick 'em all up now. I'm still getting a whiskey kick, and this is going more and more butterscotch by the minute. The cream is still coming through, but it's not the heavy cream from Cream (the perfume from Possets) as it was the first time I tried it. The cream now is softer, more rounded. Something slightly sharp to this almost comes across as plasticy--as in a hair away from plastic but not quite there. The vanilla is also very obvious in this, adding to the sweetness. I just had my mom sit next to me and I asked her what it smells like. Answer: "Oooh that smells good. Smells like sugar and spice and everything nice."

As it dries further: the whiskey note continues to ride along--I don't know why I'm getting whiskey here, but I think that's part of the sharp edge I mentioned above, and it's definitely hitting my nose as whiskey. I like it. It's keeping this from being over the top sweet. This is also coming up with a hint of a brown sugar vibe right now. It's veering away from butterscotch to more of a warm brown sugar, but still threading the butterscotch note through. I am getting a different throw than what is directly on my skin. My skin amps the bitterness of that whiskey-ish note, but when I wave my arms around, I get nothing but sweet yummy creamy toffee. My left arm seems to be the one pushing the plastic-y vibe, my right arm is all deep cream mixed with brown sugar with a touch of something herbal. When I stick my nose on my right arm, I love what I'm getting: warm snuggly sugared skin. When I stick my nose on my left arm, I get that whiskey/plastic with toffee pushing through that.

I still don't get much coffee from this, but then I am comparing it to the other coffee scents I've tried recently (Phyllotaxis and Quantum Interconnect from Possets) which were heavy on the coffee.

Dry down: This is now smooth brown sugar mixed with butterscotch and a hint of that note I'm interpreting as whiskey. A touch buttery. A little creamy. This is also much smoother than it was the first time I tried it, so sitting a bit did help this one develop a bit more. I have a feeling this one will be really scrumptious in a few months. If caramel or toffee notes go funky on you, I don't know how well this will play on your skin. But, if you love foodie scents, it's worth giving this one a try, just because it's foodie! The bit that got on my shirt is super lickable smelling, so even if it doesn't play well on your skin, it could be fabulous in a scent locket. Just don't blame me if you end up eating the scent locket half way through your day.